Archive for the ‘ Reversals ’ Category

TarotHunter’s Silver Bullets:

  • Sometimes we are so distracted by our imagined desires and wants that we lose touch with who we truly are and what will provide true fulfillment & satisfaction.
  • What choices will satisfy your soul, your inner spirit? Consider before deciding.
  • Are you haunted by “what might have been?”. Are the ghosts of past decisions leaving you dissatisfied? Look deep within and find the truth. You can’t undo past bad choices but you can stop letting them taint your present and future.

I ask myself this question a lot. The other day I drew the Ace of Cups Rx and The Empress Rx and they seemed to be addressing this issue for me. I’m one of those people who have loads of advice for everyone – ways to improve their lives, their health, whatever. Unfortunately, I am notorious for not applying such advice to my own life. I can be stubborn and hard-headed, or as my mother likes to call it – thick. I am a relatively intelligent person – or I at least have book smarts and know the answers to a number of Jeopardy questions. Common sense, however, does not appear to be on of my innate skills. Of course, life loves to throw us curve balls and I was finally thrown one that forced me to face a few issues that I’ve been trying to avoid.

I have Type II diabetes and until a few years ago I had it fairly well controlled. Once things got more challenging dealing with my mother-in-law, caring for myself was one of the things that fell by the wayside. Short-sighted and stressed, I chose to live in denial that this behavior would come back to bite me in the ass. Fast forward to July of this year (the day after my 51st birthday, in fact) and my chickens had come home to roost. I visited my doctor and got a call from his office the next day informing me that he wanted to up my medications adding an additional pill for diabetes, Lipitor and a prescription Omega 3 supplement. Now I hate taking more pills than is absolutely necessary but I also don’t want to suffer from complications due to diabetes later in my life. So I bitched and moaned and bitched some more. Then I talked with my hubby and we came up with a plan. I would give myself a specific time period to change my behaviors – eat healthier and exercise more. If there was no improvement at the end of this time then I’d have to start taking the additional pills.

It was difficult at first and I became discouraged and almost gave up a few times but I knew that if I began taking these additional pills I’d be psychologically giving up and I didn’t want to do that. So I hung in there. I’m finally seeing an improvement in my glucose levels and am definitely making healthier food choices. So I’m making progress but this made me wonder why I did this to myself? Why do so many of this do this to ourselves?

We bend over backward to care for others but ignore our own needs. We put off our own needs and try to ignore or avoid the potentially negative repercussions of these choices. Is this something we’re acculturated to accept? Are we programmed to think that our needs come last? I can’t claim to have all the answers but I will say that in my case it was simply a matter of not making myself a priority. I was programmed early on in life to do what was expected of me – to be the good student, the good daughter, the good employee. I craved the positive reinforcement and external validation. It was exhausting.

It took a long time but I think I’m finally reaching a place where my needs count too. They’re not necessarily more important than the needs of loved ones but they are as important. If I don’t take care of myself then I can’t care for them either. It’s a pretty simple concept but one that I traveled a long, winding road to reach. I’m sure I’ll still have days when I backslide but I feel more positive that I’m moving in the right direction.

TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • It is rare that things are handed to us wrap in a bow. Remember that abundance, prosperity, the “good stuff” is often counterbalanced by hard work and sacrifice.
  • It isn’t healthy or beneficial to make pursuit of the “good things” such a priority that everything else in your life takes a back seat.
  • Such imbalances in one’s life can also negatively impact health. Be fair to yourself – make relaxation and health a priority before you regret it.

TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • Today might be a good time to start a new, loving relationship with yourself. Be kind, gentle & loving to your body & soul.
  • Nurture yourself the way you wish you had been nurtured in your life.
  • Let the energy of love and nurturing wash you clean from your past and help you heal.

TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • New projects and collaborations may help you refine your skills and enhance your experience
  • Working with others allows us to teach as well as learn
  • Be careful not to let self-doubts and fears undermine your confidence in your abilities.  You have knowledge and experience to share with others, don’t let inner demons stifle you.

TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • Butterflies are free but your spirit might not be.  Why?  What is holding you back?  Avoiding new experiences and taking a leap into the unknown can lead to stagnation.  
  • Having faith is one thing, recklessness is another.  It might be helpful to recognize the difference.  
  • It’s a beautiful day outside today (at least here in the Northeastern US).  Why are you indoors?  Go outside and jump in the water; walk in the woods; talk to nature!!

Before writing this blog post I asked the universe how I should approach this topic; where should my focus be? I drew the Page of Wands Rx – all sorts of potential creative and dynamic energy being blocked or channeled in wrong directions. Hmm, so is writing about the dark nooks and crannies of my soul focusing in the wrong direction or is are the dark nooks and crannies of my soul created when I channel my energies in inappropriate or unhealthy directions? I’m choosing to interpret the Page of Wands Rx as indicating the latter – blocking my creative energies creates the dark nooks & crannies.

So, now that I’ve established that where am I going with it? I’m doing to dive right in the deep end. Reality is that I’m not an especially introspective person – at least not on a daily basis. I tend to be more of a doer than a planner. I can plan but it’s not my first instinct. My tendency is to dive into the deep end of any endeavor and then just figure my way out. It’s been relatively successful so I’ve had little incentive to change this pattern. Which also explains the reversed Page of Wands – when I take on a new project or creative impulse I tend to jump right in to things. Poking around in my dark places is rather counter-intuitive to me.

I will say that using Tarot has been a great way to sneak into my subconscious. I can be quite good at rationalizing and intellectualizing my actions. Deflection and denial can be quite powerful so the only way for me to subvert them is a tool like Tarot cards. Tarot forces me to hold a mirror up to myself and address what I see. It often takes more than one attempt but eventually even my stubbornness cannot hold out against the slaps upside the head that Tarot offers. Each deck offers different insights and perspectives.

I realize now that I’ve used Tarot as a therapeutic tool. Despite my MA in forensic psychology, I have a resistance to therapy. I resist believing that I need another person’s input to my therapeutic process. I hate being told what to do, even when I know the suggestions might be useful. I am one of those people who has to stumble through the jungle on my own. I don’t value the experience unless it’s first hand. It’s the same reason I rarely find self-help books helpful – I may be glad that others have found their way to healing and wholeness but I need to forge my own path. I also have no interest in mentoring others. If you find something useful in these musings then I’m thrilled. If not, that’s okay too because it helped me.

Over the next few months I’ll probably share more specific tales of this journey through the wilds of my own mind. I don’t know if it will be especially interesting or edifying but I’ll guess time will tell. What I do know is that for some reason I’m compelled to share. Maybe just knowing that they’re not alone out there will help others who have similar experiences. Maybe at the end of the day that’s what helps us all stay a little saner – the knowledge that we are not alone.

 

#TarotCotD – Death Rx (Pearls if Wisdom)

TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • Death is liminal space.  You are poised on a boundary between two realities.  Instead of avoiding, why not use this opportunity to open yourself up and learn from the experience?
  • Day destroys the night, night divides the day – you can try to resist the changes but you can’t stop them. Death or transformation – only you can decide but remember, whichever view you choose, it’s inevitable.
  • Death forces us to strip off our masks and face who we really are.  Are you afraid to face your true self?  Trying to postpone or avoid a necessary part of your journey is pointless and will only lead to frustration and stagnation.

TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • So much creative energy and new ideas are available to you but you’re not tapping into it
  • Be cautious not to get so distracted by the pretty lights that you don’t access and utilize the energies they provide
  • If you don’t find a channel for these ideas and energies they’ll explode all over in inappropriate ways and make a mess in your life.

TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • Still, can’t bring yourself to walk away, can you?  What holds you back?  What is unresolved in this situation?
  • Is there something in your past that is still impacting this issue?  Have you been the one left behind?
  • Or is this reflecting the fact that you’ve made this move already but now you’re regretting it or questioning your judgment?  What emotional connection do you feel you lost by moving forward?  
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox

Join other followers:

%d bloggers like this: