Archive for May, 2017

Tarot Hunter’s Silver Bullets:

  • Past instances of ungenerosity can come back to bite you in the ass
  •  Odds are if you’re being cheap with others, you’re shortchanging yourself as well
  • Only Daffy Duck can get away with that “Mine, mine, mine” attitude.  Stinginess breeds resentment.

Tarot Hunter’s Silver Bullets:

  • Reciprocity is important; be open to receiving as well as giving.
  • Being too generous or too greedy can both create problems.  Balance is the key.
  • Stop begging!  Get off your butt and do something!  Take responsibility for you life and your choices.

I’m not shattered, I’m a mosaic

While pursuing my MA in forensic psychology, I read a textbook entitled The Shattered Self. It was offered case studies of people suffering from PTSD, which the authors argued should be considered a dissociative disorder, not an anxiety disorder (I may be oversimplifying this, it’s been a long time since I read the book). As I read the book I had very mixed feelings; very personal feelings. I could to be objective about the material covered in the book. In fact it made me a little angry. As I read the cast studies many of them resonated with me on a deep level; their experiences often mirrored my own. What made me angry was the concept that these people were somehow damaged because they had found a way to pick up the pieces of their lives and move forward. Why did the fact that they had shattered make them defective? To me, they were strong, brave, resilient people who managed to endure what many could not. Yeah, okay, there might have been some projecting going on there.

In retrospect I realize that the reason these folks had become case studies in this book is because eventually their coping mechanism felt apart and they re-shattered. They were suffering and trying to hold it together as best they could but failing. So, in theory, counseling or therapy would be beneficial. Of course because I am a stubborn bitch, I resisted even the idea that being shattered was harming me. I felt like a piece of safety glass – sure I was shattered but I was still holding it together. I hadn’t lost any pieces.

As I gain more experience and wisdom, I realize that I have also made myself into a mosaic. I replaced some of the shattered pieces with new ones that are brilliantly colored and uniquely shaped. I wear these new tiles with pride because they’re proof that I have the strength to endure and the will to keep moving forward. I don’t think I’m so special (or at least no more or less special than anyone else) because clearly the case studies in The Shattered Self prove that others have the same resilience that I do. At the same time, I am proud of the fact that I am resilient and even if I’m shattered I don’t fall to pieces on the floor.

TarotHunter’s Silver Bullets

  • Balancing your life is tricky but fun.
  • Successfully juggling our priorities requires more attention than we realize.
  • It can be so easy to focus so much attention on the balls we’re juggling that we miss the obstacles around our feet.  Be cautious, not cocky.

Once again, this is something that has been incubating in me since last year’s Readers’ Studio. All three presenters (Heatherleigh Navarre, Barbara Moore & Sasha Graham, who were all amazing!) focused on shadow work. It was an awesome experience because each session managed to enhance and build upon the energy from the other sessions. Quite a lot of magical power was unleashed that weekend. As we worked through the exercises and listened to the presenters I had a bit of an epiphany. I realized that I had no problem working with the darker side of human nature because I’ve been so exposed to it during my lifetime; it’s familiar territory.

I’ve probably hinted or even outright stated this before on this blog, but the fact of the matter is that much of my childhood was exposed to the darker side of human nature. My household was one of alcoholism, abuse (emotional, psychological, physical and sexual) and poverty. Most of my childhood friends came from similar backgrounds. We didn’t realize things were screwed up because this is the way it had always been for us. It’s not until I share tales of our exploits and get horrified looks from listeners that I realize how violent, dark and different my childhood was compared to many others.

I have learned to thrive in darkness, like a flower that blooms at night. It has become my milieu; I am comfortable in its environs. What I tend to avoid is the light, the gentle, the calmer approach to things. While sitting at Readers’ Studio I realize that one of my strengths is that I can help someone find their way through their own darkness. I can embrace and accept this side of their nature and help them work through it and find their way to wholeness. I can serve as the guide across the River Styx but I prefer not to accompany them back to the light. I prefer the shadows. I trust the darkness; I know what to watch for and what to expect. The light is something unfamiliar and untrustworthy. Random acts of kindness and spontaneous acts of generosity make me twitchy and a bit suspicious (something I am working on changing).

This realization also forced me to understand that my ability to endure and survive this experiences does not mean everyone can do so. It doesn’t make those who get lost in the shadows or who fear them weaker than me, simply different. I a bit like a colorblind person who doesn’t miss color because she has never seen them. I don’t miss the light side because it isn’t something I had a lot of experience with growing up. As an adult, I’ve been lucky enough to make friends who have slowly exposed me to the benefits of the light side and I am more grateful to them than words can express but it hasn’t shifted my orientation much.

Maybe in a way, I’m like the Tarot version of a sin eater. I can absorb the darkness or shadow side that others fear so much and help them learn to become more comfortable with it too. Hmm, maybe I’m more like a dark side Brita filter, helping purify the dark side so it’s more fully appreciated.

Let’s face it – there are a lot of folks out there working the light side of the street. They try to convince us that it’s healthier and more positive. In my experience, it’s much healthier to embrace both sides. As Star Trek (yes I love classic Star Trek, Gene Rodenberry was a genius, and I plan to use examples from the show as often as possible) showed, humanity needs its darker side; messier, more violent shadow side. Without it we risk becoming indecisive martyrs, trying to harm none – that’s just not possible. I think we need to accept that every action has consequences, some good and some bad. In some ways, every choice we make has the potential to harm others. That is just how life works. If you are offered a job that means all the other applicants were rejected – someone was harmed. Get over it. Instead of ignoring or denying the shadow side, try working with it a bit. You don’t need to immerse yourself in it but try accepting and acknowledging it and learn what its energy can do for you. I think you’ll be surprised.

 

TarotHunter’s Silver Bullets

  • Don’t rest on your laurels; keep striving towards new goals.
  • If we no longer have goals to achieve, we risk stagnation.
  • Hard work and focus is important but they’re not the only thing.  Don’t lose sight of family & friends in your pursuit of your goals.

 

Tarot Hunter’s Silver Bullets:

  • Take time to enjoy what is in your life right now
  • Appreciate family and the blessings you’ve been given
  • It’s our loved ones and our experiences that enrich our lives, not the things we acquire

Judgment – Blue Rose Tarot

Blue Rose Tarot
Created by Paula Gibby
Published by Soul Guidance

 

The Book says: It means everything. It means that we exercise all the abilities we have learned. All the time. In our minds, in our hearts and in the very depths of our souls. It is called living aware.

Think back, fellow Fool. Think back upon the journey. Think of the Magician. What is the Magician?

He is everything.

Everything.

That is his magic. But magic is nothing without an audience. Without application. And so, he has much to do. He must walk that Cosmic Playground and spread that magic everywhere. Wherever it is wanted. Whenever it is needed. [He is all the players in the Major Arcana] And it is by being one, two or any and all of those things at any given time; by living with full and open awareness…evaluating, knowing when to act, when to be silent, when to listen, when to teach, when to love, when to surprise…but always making that determination, judging the moment, judging our actions with the noblest, most laudable and loving of intentions…by applying, living and sharing all of those things with everything and everyone in the Cosmic Playground who comes to him with open heart and an inquiring mind; it is then that a Hero completes his final lesson, establishes his legacy…And fulfills his destiny.

TarotHunter’s Theories: The first thing that struck me upon seeing this card is that it represents the spirit soaring high above the mundane world. It has managed to rise above the darkness and pettiness that surrounds it and find its connection to the Divine. It vividly shows that we can rise above our own selfishness and limited view and find our inner stardust. As science and song have suggested we are made of star stuff, we are one with the cosmos. And perhaps in order to find that connection again we need to allow ourselves to move beyond our own limitations. 

The human spirit is an amazing, glorious, incredible gift that we are given. And if we allow ourselves to fully explore its potential we can achieve wonders and work magic.

Your lantern has dimmed

You trail blazed, others followed

Let them take the lead

#TarotCotD – 4 of Disks (Arcus Arcanum)

My things clenched in hand

Holding on tight as I can

Still they slip away

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