TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • All roads could lead to you. You could become an expert in your field but first you need to nurture your talents and yourself. You need to live yourself and believe your worth the investment.
  • You unfocused and not fulfilling your potential right now. Instead of reaping the benefits of your talents, your energy is scattered. Focus and perseverance are the way to manifest the success, abundance and prosperity that have eluded you so far.
  • Instead of sharing your skills and achievements with the world, you’re hoarding them. Rather than expanding your skill set, you’re limiting you potential. Be proud of what you know and can do; celebrate the arc work that brought you to where you are today! Embrace who you truly are and what you can do and then share it with the world.

TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • You don’t believe you have it in you to make the choices necessary to pursue your dreams, but you’re wrong. The inner strength and fortitude is there just waiting for you to embrace it. Doing this will allow you to explore your dreams and heart’s desire so you can make them come true.
  • You need to focus and narrow your choices a bit. Even the strongest, most determined person cannot achieve their desires if they are pouring out their energies into too many bowls; diluting their essence too much.
  • You worry that being perceived as strong and in control will limit you, and it might depending upon the circumstances. However, consider something – do you want to keep swimming upstream in pursuit of dreams that force you to deny who and what you truly are? Embrace your strength; revel in your fierceness because at the end if the day if you can’t be true to yourself then what’s the point?

TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • You see the vision you want to (and can) create in your life but in order to nurture it to fruition, you need to find the balance you currently lack.
  • Change your current perspective on things by shaking them up. Right now you see the path ahead quite clearly but is that what is truly best for you? Perhaps you’re twisting yourself up in an effort to maintain the status quo but does that nurture your creative nature?
  • You show a confident, accomplished face to the world but inside you feel like a phony. Why? What would help you feel as though you truly are confident and accomplished? What has thrown you off balance? Only you can do the work to find your equilibrium again.

TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • Look deep within yourself, in those dark places you prefer to avoid, and ask what is motivating your behavior right now? What is driving you on your current path?
  • You spend a lot of time judging yourself and others. Why? What purpose does it serve? Perhaps the only thing you’re accomplishing by these actions is to smother your creative drive. Maybe it’s time to focus less on judging and more on creating & doing.
  • You’ve let the negative judgments of others douse your creativity, your passion, your drive. Instead of listening to those critics – both inner and outer, refocus on what excites you, inspires you and ignites your creative juices.

TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • You may not be sure what you’re seeking, where you want to focus your energies, but closing off your heart isn’t helping.
  • Try combining your creative energies and your heart & soul. Right now you’re treating them as separate; looking in two different directions. Try looking within and consolidating, merging these two facets of your life.
  • You are frustrated in finding a focus for your creative juices. In your heart you fear you’re not ready to move on to something new, to start a new path in your life. This fear is the only thing holding you back. Trust yourself and unleash that creative force.

TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • You are not listening to the messages the divine is sending you. Instead of trusting your heart, you’re forcing yourself to follow what you perceive as a logical, rational plan but it’s not giving you what you truly desire.
  • You’re deceiving yourself that listening to the chattering of magpies is actually providing wise advice. Stop cutting yourself off from your soul and reconnect to your heart.
  • In trying to protect your soft, inner self you are burying your head in the sand and ignoring the reality around you. Realize that listening to your heart and having a gentle nature can be a source of strength not weakness. Feeding on the remains if our victims does not make us strong, it takes us carrion.

TarotHunter’s Silver Bullets:

  • Focus your creative energies and consider what you’ve already achieved in your life before moving onto a new path.
  • Revisit past passions to find new inspiration. Let who you were guide who you may become.
  • Are your accomplishments becoming more of a burden than a reward? Maybe it’s time to strip back to your bare bones and explore who you were and how these achievements serve you now.

TarotHunter’s Silver Bullets:

  • If you really want to free yourself from addictive or unhealthy behaviors then be smart about it. Seek out advice from trusted friends and advisors and listen to them.
  • The only way to truly slay inner demons is to face them head on. Denial and avoidance only allow negative situations to linger and grow stronger. Take up your sword, face the truth and then seek out a path through it.
  • We all have a shadow side, that somewhat frightening and rather unappealing part of our nature. Ignoring it will not weaken or banish it. Instead, try facing it head on. Use your wits and intellect and learn to embrace it rather than letting fear guide you. Made that side of your psyche work for you not against you.

Passions – what makes life worth living

Passion, excitement, enthusiasm, joy.  The other day I realized how absent these emotions have been in my life lately.  While chatting with a friend about hobbies it hit me that I haven’t lost myself in any of my hobbies for quite some time.  I collect and play with Barbies and similar fashion dolls but I haven’t redressed a doll in over a year.  I collect and use Tarot decks but I haven’t really played with my decks the way I once did.  I have more books in my TBR pile than I can possibly finish in this lifetime.  I have a list of recipes I want to try but instead, default to the same 10  What the hell is wrong with me?  I’m not sure but I do have a few ideas.
During the conversation with my friend, I realized that I’ve suppressed my excitement and passion because it became painful.  Seeing others who shared my passions being able to explore and enjoy theirs while I was stuck in caregiver mode sucked.  It made me envious and bitter so I must have decided on some level that if I didn’t want to become a bitter, bitchy (okay, more bitchy) person then I needed to distance myself from online groups and boards or else my envy would chew me up and spit me out.
Unfortunately, that also meant that I dampened my affect across the board.  I stayed in a middle position to avoid letting the negative stuff overwhelm me but it meant I didn’t really enjoy the positive stuff either.  I think in clinical terms it might be considered depression.  Luckily I realized that it’s a situation depression and not due to anything major.  That means I could treat it on my own – because gods forbid I should see help for anything.  I’m kinda stubborn that way.  I like to blame it on my Capricorn Moon.
So what is my solution?  Nothing especially groundbreaking.  I made myself a promise that I would consciously choose to engage in some of my hobbies.  For example – I re-committed myself to posting my daily Tarot card pulls at least 4 times each week.  I promised myself I would post something to my blog once a week.  I am determined to journal at least once a week (but preferably more).  There are small, simple and doable steps that I know I can achieve.  Once I’ve consistently done these for a few weeks I’ll add more or change them.  I also want to start reading books on journaling and finding your life purpose but I’m not making that part of this commitment.  I have also promised myself that I won’t spend money on hobbies/crafts for which I already have a wide range of materials that I have not used yet (such as my coloring books and composition notebooks). 
None of this is especially innovative or mind-blowing.  It might not be amazing, impactful or especially transformative for anyone else.  For me, this was quite an epiphany.  Sometimes it the small wake up calls in life that have the most long-lasting and beneficial results.

Before writing this blog post I asked the universe how I should approach this topic; where should my focus be? I drew the Page of Wands Rx – all sorts of potential creative and dynamic energy being blocked or channeled in wrong directions. Hmm, so is writing about the dark nooks and crannies of my soul focusing in the wrong direction or is are the dark nooks and crannies of my soul created when I channel my energies in inappropriate or unhealthy directions? I’m choosing to interpret the Page of Wands Rx as indicating the latter – blocking my creative energies creates the dark nooks & crannies.

So, now that I’ve established that where am I going with it? I’m doing to dive right in the deep end. Reality is that I’m not an especially introspective person – at least not on a daily basis. I tend to be more of a doer than a planner. I can plan but it’s not my first instinct. My tendency is to dive into the deep end of any endeavor and then just figure my way out. It’s been relatively successful so I’ve had little incentive to change this pattern. Which also explains the reversed Page of Wands – when I take on a new project or creative impulse I tend to jump right in to things. Poking around in my dark places is rather counter-intuitive to me.

I will say that using Tarot has been a great way to sneak into my subconscious. I can be quite good at rationalizing and intellectualizing my actions. Deflection and denial can be quite powerful so the only way for me to subvert them is a tool like Tarot cards. Tarot forces me to hold a mirror up to myself and address what I see. It often takes more than one attempt but eventually even my stubbornness cannot hold out against the slaps upside the head that Tarot offers. Each deck offers different insights and perspectives.

I realize now that I’ve used Tarot as a therapeutic tool. Despite my MA in forensic psychology, I have a resistance to therapy. I resist believing that I need another person’s input to my therapeutic process. I hate being told what to do, even when I know the suggestions might be useful. I am one of those people who has to stumble through the jungle on my own. I don’t value the experience unless it’s first hand. It’s the same reason I rarely find self-help books helpful – I may be glad that others have found their way to healing and wholeness but I need to forge my own path. I also have no interest in mentoring others. If you find something useful in these musings then I’m thrilled. If not, that’s okay too because it helped me.

Over the next few months I’ll probably share more specific tales of this journey through the wilds of my own mind. I don’t know if it will be especially interesting or edifying but I’ll guess time will tell. What I do know is that for some reason I’m compelled to share. Maybe just knowing that they’re not alone out there will help others who have similar experiences. Maybe at the end of the day that’s what helps us all stay a little saner – the knowledge that we are not alone.

 

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