TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • The medicine wheel can help you manifest your dreams and create prosperity in you life but before that can happen you need to way to cut through what holds you back and unleash your intellectual power; find a balance between existing beliefs and new ones.
  • This is an opportunity for a new start; to explore new territory. Right now you may feel stifled and stagnant because you’ve been ignoring your need to nourish you mind; to sharpen your saw. Unleashing that potential will help you manifest new and unlimited possibilities for growth and success.
  • Wheels turn, that’s what they do. You are being given a message that changes are coming your way. Right now your mental energies are in a receptive phase; you are taking in new techniques, inspiration and ideas. Soon you will be focusing it outwards and creating magic in your life; sharing what you’ve learned with others. Just believe in yourself!

TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • You don’t believe in “happily ever after” and as a result find yourself alone and lonely. You can either change your perceptions so you’ll be more open to potential relationships or make your antisocial grumpiness work for you by gaining insights and knowledge easily missed if one is distracted by a relationship.
  • You’re resisting moving on to the next phase of your life because you don’t want to do it alone. Unfortunately, many of our greatest personal epiphanies occur when we are in solitude.
  • You fear that your lack of financial resources and impoverished lifestyle limit your social interactions. Is it that others judge you poorly for your socioeconomic status, or that you’re projecting your insecurities onto the world?

TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • It’s time to leave all these pains in the ass behind you and move into a new life; to forge the new you.
  • Your past experiences, thoughts and pains have brought you to this point in your life. It’s time to guide your quest for who you will be as you move forward.
  • Finding your creative spark, your energetic self is the journey of a lifetime. Each lesson along the way, no after how painful, contributed to who you are. Letting go of the pain but embracing the lessons will allow you to emerge transformed and victorious.

Tarot Hunter’s Silver Bullets:

  • Sometimes finding satisfaction in work has less to do with salary and more to do with the pride of a job well done.
  • Learning new skills can be their own reward but remember the saying “work to live, don’t live to work”.
  • Consider how much more valuable our wealth, our possessions, our “stuff” becomes when we’ve worked hard to achieve them.

Tarot Hunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • Fear of new ideas and ways of communicating limit your worldview and blunt your creative energies.
  • Self-doubts and inner demons can undermine your creative spirit. A negative internal dialogue douses enthusiasm faster than a bucket of ice water.
  • New creative endeavors and projects start within. If you’re not listening to your soul, you may find it difficult to tap into that fire.

Tarot Hunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • Moving forward requires seeing thing clearly. Make sure to remove your blindfold or you may stumble more than necessary.
  • Strategic retreats are often beneficial and crucial to further growth. Don’t let yourself be blocked from seeing the truth in your current situation.
  • Wariness and guardedness can be effective defense mechanisms. They can also prevent you from seeing opportunities and paths that lie ahead. Sometimes letting your guard down is beneficial & healthy; the right move.

TarotHunter’s Silver Bullets:

  • Embrace new ideas and concepts.  Let them lead you to new studies and learning opportunities.
  • Ground yourself so that all these new ideas coming at you don’t become overwhelming.  Taking on too much at once often leads to burnout.
  • Enthusiasm and excitement can be great motivators but if you don’t have the willingness to do the work they will go nowhere.

TarotHunter’s Silver Bullets:

  • Honing your craft can bring new joys into your life.
  • When you truly love what you do it is an expression of your true self not merely a chore.
  • Practice may make perfect but sometimes the quest for perfection prevents us from enjoying the good. The process, the journey and the knowledge gained from mistakes can open us up to more joy than perfection ever will.

 

I’m being deliberately provocative with the title of this blog post. I am a female and, as such, I was a girl when I was younger. However, I was not raised to think of myself as “just a girl”. I decided to write this post after reading an article a woman wrote about gender expectations and American Gods. This got me to thinking, pondering if you will. Why have I never felt the weight of gender expectations? In fact, I clearly remember a very vehement argument I once had with a former friend about sexism and gender in the workplace. It’s entirely possible that I have been denied promotions or suffered a lower salary because I am female, but if that’s the case I was as oblivious to it as I was to the Stations of the Cross in my childhood church. I simply plowed forward and did my job. If my behaviors upset or offended supervisors because I didn’t act in a typically female way, I either addressed it head on, was oblivious to it, or ignored it.

I have never been told that I could not achieve something because I’m “a girl”. I was never discouraged from trying or accomplishing something because “girls don’t do that”. Sure my parents tried to civilize me and teach me to behave but they also encouraged me to be independent and strong-willed. They regularly gave me the “would you (fill in the blank) just because everyone else does?” speech. I was never encouraged to downplay my intelligence because boys don’t like smart girls. I was never told I was too aggressive for a girl and should tone it down (in fact my father preferred to teach me the correct way to throw a punch). When boys touched me in ways I did not want, I punched them or kicked them in the balls. My nickname as an adolescent was “the Nutcracker”. At the same time, I accepted that if I was going to hit others I might get hit back. I couldn’t use the “I’m a girl” excuse. I was fine with this. Looking back, I was truly blessed to have two parents who never, ever fell victim to gender roles and stereotypes – at least not when it came to me. I remember one Easter my grandmother bought my sister and me matching outfits – they were royal blue pantsuits (think polyester button-down shirts and pants) with T-shirts that proclaimed “Anything boys can do, girls can do better” and a graphic of a girl in a baseball outfit getting ready to swing her bat. We LOVED those shirts and proudly wore them every chance we got. In fact, that saying became our unofficial motto throughout childhood.

I was also influenced by Greco-Roman and Norse mythology as a child. I identified with Athena, the wise virgin who owed nothing to a man (okay, I’m oversimplifying because that’s what I believed as a child). I loved Freya who was the leader of the Valkyries and free to sleep with whom she chose, even if they were dwarves. It wasn’t just independent female goddesses that appealed to me – they had to have a fierceness to them, a martial aspect as well. I loved goddesses who bowed down to no man or god. As I grew older and learned about Irish goddesses I felt a strong connection to many of them too. Once again, fierce feminine figures who were not bound to a male.

Looking back, I am also a product of my generation. I grew up in the 70s and clearly remember the hoopla that following the tennis match between Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs. I remember how excited I was when Charlie’s Angels premiered! Yes, in retrospect it was a T&A show but as a young girl, all I saw were these tough, independent women who took on bad guys every week and triumphed. I was a fan of both Wonder Woman with Lynda Carter, Isis, and Electra Woman & Dyna Girl. I read Wonder Woman and Supergirl comic books. I remember being vaguely disappointed when the ERA was defeated. I didn’t fully understand what it was or why I wanted it but I knew that its failure was not a good thing for me. I remember having an epiphany during a religious class in Catholic high school when our teacher while conducting a cakes & wine ritual, informed us that ancient frescoes showed that women administered the sacraments in the early Christian church. I was floored! It never occurred to me that women could serve as priests. I often think that this was the pivotal moment that ultimately led me to pursue Paganism.

So, it occurs to me that if we don’t want to raise our daughters to be “just girls” we need to reinforce that message. We need to support them when they show interest in traditionally “ungirly” things or behave in non-girly ways. We also need to let them know that if they choose to pursue traditionally feminine pursuits, that is wonderful too. It’s so easy to denigrate traditional feminine pursuits, interests, and behaviors but that’s just as damaging as only allowing them to pursue these things. Some girls want to be fairy princesses and some want to be G.I. Joe. Some want to play with dolls and some want to play with toy guns. Some will do both and all of that is great and should be encouraged. For that matter, we should use the same approach with boys. I guess the important thing is to focus on what the child wants and needs and make sure to nurture and support them. Sounds easy and yet somehow we make it so complicated.

Just take the freakin’ compliment

While at Readers’ Studio, I was chatting with Elinor Greenberg and Diane Wilkes. During out chat Elinor turned to Kooch Daniels and commented that several of my blog posts incorporating Tarot and psychology were some of the most insightful writings on the topic that she had read. I immediately made a self-deprecating comment along the lines of “knowing my own bullshit”. Elinor commented “Just accept the freakin’ compliment”. That stopped me dead in my tracks. Like a lot of people, I find it easier to take criticism than praise. Why? What is there in my soul, my ego, that cringes at compliments?

I wasn’t always this way. As a child I was very much a solar baby – soaking up all the attention and praise that I could get. I was a very good student and relatively well behaved child. In fact I was often embarrassed by teachers telling my mother they wished they had a “classroom full of Debbies”. Looking back now I realize that I began shying away from praise when it began to cause mocking by peers. One incident in my junior year of high school is still seared into my psyche. I took typing and steno (because why the hell not?). During one class the teacher asked for volunteers to read the transcription we had just completed. I can’t remember if I volunteered or was selected but as I was reading it I could hear a voice from behind me mimicking and mocking me as I read aloud. I felt so hurt and defenseless. I started tearing up and knew I couldn’t let them see me cry because (as I’m sure many of us remember) high school can be quite a dog eat dog environment. Another classmate sitting next to me realized I was close to losing it and told the mocker to cut it out. I will always appreciate her defense of me. I managed to finish reading without breaking down but it really took the joy out of that class for me.

Looking back I realize that kind of thing happened a lot to me. Not as cruel as the mockery and mimicry but being teased for being a brainiac, egghead, using $100 words. Even friends would make comments about my vocabulary so instead of feeling proud about it, I ended up feel embarrassed, shamed. Even in my family I’ve heard comments like I “think too much” or that I’m the “smart one” as though it makes me an outsider. I sometimes joke that I’m a Lisa Simpson in a Bart & Homer kind of world. It’s funnier to say than it is to experience.

This is just my roundabout way of explaining why I resist compliments – because I always assume they’re actually backhanded insults; ways to mock and tease me. I hate feeling that vulnerable and exposed so I go into an offensive position – I make fun of myself before they can do it. I treat it like a joke so they won’t realize how much it truly hurts me. It’s amazing and sad to me that after 30+ years that incident still causes pain. It’s not as painful as it once was but there is still tenderness and soreness attached to the memory. It’s ironic that when I was on FaceBook I got a friend request from the same person behind that incident. Just another reason I prefer to not be on FaceBook.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox

Join other followers:

%d bloggers like this: