Her melancholy poured from her instrument. Her sadness shadowed her like a cloak. Although she was doing what she loved it was overshadowed by regret. She could have been doing this so much sooner if only she hadn’t let her own inner demons and the negative comments of others deter her; undermine her confidence; hold her prisoner; worm their way into her brain.
She paused for a second, shaking off those negative thoughts. That was all in the past now. she was moving forward and needed to focus on her future; no longer shackled to the past. She had found bliss and planned to treasure it.
TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:
- You are clinging to illusions, to fantasies about yourself and your life. You think you are free and unencumbered but in truth, you are being willfully foolish.
- You have finally stopped deluding yourself; that is in your past. You can now move towards your future with hope, faith in yourself and a child-like wonder at what the future might hold.
- Things are hidden from you right now; you can’t see the entire picture because shadows obscure important facets of it. Believe in yourself and that you can accomplish what you want and overcome challenges thrown your way but be wary and cautious about what remains unknown.
TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:
- Are you facing a major decision; a life altering choice? Don’t over think it! Look deep within yourself and trust your instincts. Listen to that divine spark in your soul and you’ll know what oath to choose.
- The current situation is not about a failure to communicate. However it might be a good idea to listen to what’s truly being said; to listen to your inner voice.
- When you look at others, do you see the divine reflected in their eyes? Are you truly looking? Remember that sometimes faith and trust are not intellectual exercises, they are choices and life experiences.
Looking at this Cernunnos-like figure sitting at the center of this card I was struck by two things: I need to reconnect to my spiritual traditions and I need to not get held back by being outside the protective circle of the stones. I need to reconnect with my roots and foundation while at the same time reaching for the stars or thinking outside the box. In other words the way to maintain my sanity right now is to find my own path and not be held back by expectations or “supposed to”.
This is an important message for me because I have a tendency to try to do things “the right way” and then castigating myself if I fail. Dealing with this type of situation is entirely new to me. I’ve never had children and never been in the role of primary caregiver for someone who was entirely dependent upon me. I must say I don’t like it much. However I am also determined to do the best I can for both my in-laws. To some extent that requires me to forge my own path.
I have a quirk in my nature that doesn’t allow me to follow paths created by others. I may enjoy exploring their route and learning about how they chose the path and what they learned. However at the end of the day if I haven’t forged my own way through the wilderness I don’t value the lessons. I need to viscerally experience the process to gain the most benefit. This even applied in school – if I did not hand write notes in class I found it much harder to remember the lessons. Simply studying the texts or other’s notes was not as helpful as the simple act of writing. It’s as though the physical act transferred the information to my brain cells and made them more available to access later.
One way I have decided to both go back to classic traditions and forge my own path is the concept of French Chic. I think some Americans (especially women) tend to idealize the French and the stylishness and chicness of French women. I am in no way impugning either of these traits, however I think they need to be taken in context. French women are who and what they are because they are in France. An entire culture is woven around them to support their lifestyle. America is different. We can certainly incorporate certain elements of French (or actually I suspect European in general) lifestyles but in some cases it’s just not practical.
For me, the key element of French chicness and style is to simplify; take the time to fully appreciate every experience and enjoy every moment in your life. Instead of complaining about the routine, day-to-day drudge work that often seems to fill our days, see them as the foundation for a wonderful life. Understand that without those daily chores and tasks, our lives would become a chaotic mess. This is where I need to focus my energies.
Right now I feel as though my current situation is sucking the life out of me; killing my soul. If I start to focus on these daily chores as essential to maintain the foundation of my life perhaps I won’t feel such resentment. At the same time I need to embrace the idea that taking care of myself is just as essential as these daily tasks. It’s not frivolous or shallow or pointless. It’s beneficial and helps me maintain my equilibrium – quite a worthy endeavor in itself.
The first thing that struck me about this card is the message the Facebook does not emotionally nurture me. Which is very true. It does provide a relatively easy way for me to keep in touch with friends and family. However, it also gives the false illusion of a plethora of friends. I regularly receive friend requests from people I don’t know. If I haven’t met them in person at some point or if I haven’t interacted with them via a mailing list or online group, then I don’t accept the request. I’m not trying to be harsh but I am not one of those who feel that a high number of friends on Facebook means anything.
Actually if anything I can come to realize that Facebook, and other social networks, simply provide me with a quick and easy way to kill time and avoid doing the things I should be doing. So in that respect it’s not fulfilling or nurturing me on an emotional level either. It’s become a bit of an energy drain; a dream sucker. Instead of focusing my energies outwards, I’ve been focusing them online. Neither a healthy nor a useful approach to anything.
So ultimately, while I won’t stay off Facebook completely, I have come to realize that I don’t need it. I know a lot of folks recommend using it for marketing your small business. I’ve considered that and realize that the type of customers I might attract that way are probably not the kind of customers I really want anyway. I don’t feel the same emotional connection to people I don’t know in “real time”. I’m sure this is not unique to me. And perhaps I was also using this as an excuse not to move forward on establishing myself as a professional Tarot reader. I focused on the extraneous issues such as marketing, blog, etc. rather than on putting it out there to the Universe that I was ready to do this. I’m finally starting to take baby steps in that direction and I think that will fulfill my emotional needs more than playing around on the Internet.
In think on another level the reversed Queen of Cups is showing me that I’m not trusting my own intuition and listening to my instincts. I’ve known for a bit now that all of the focus on this marketing and social networking wasn’t the right path for me. It doesn’t mean it’s not useful and worthwhile just not where I am right now. It may become more of a focus somewhere down the road but I’m just not there yet. And I think Facebook has been allowing me to avoid facing this fact.
So going forward I will continue to blog (although not as frequently) and hang on Facebook to chat with friends and keep up with those about whom I care. However I am not using it for marketing purposes (at least not right now). I have to trust in my instincts that this isn’t the right move for me right now. I can always revisit it in the future but right now all it’s doing is making it more stressful to be online at all.