Archive for September, 2013

pagan-cats-2-of-pentacles-high-priestess-5-of-swords-the-worldPagan_Cats Death

Looking at the 5 of Swords reversed in the Pagan Cats Tarot, I see a fluffy cat enthralled by the ribbon if shimmering light that is spiraling around her. he sits on 5 swords and there are 2 cats in the background walking away from her location. It’s as though in capturing or claiming these swords, the cat has unleashed magically energy stored in them.

For some reason the 5 of Swords reminds me of the old TV show The Highlander. I get the sense that the cat is absorbing the energies unleased by the other cats when she defeated them. Of course they don’t seem to be harmed physically but they do appear demoralized and leery. What I also find intriguing is that the cat walking off to the left is black, the cat walking to the right is white and the central cat is pie-bald. She combines the essences and energies of both the black and the white, the left and the right. she is the balanced center.

The Death card shows a fluffy black cat sitting near a grave adorned with a black stone Celtic cross tombstone and black or silver roses. a scythe rests near the cat’s front paws. She wears an amulet that seems to be a silver rose too.

She (why do I always view cats as female?) is motionless and focused on the headstone. The scythe rests at her paws but she seems oblivious to it. It’s as though she isn’t concerned or in need of its power. Is she the spirit guide/guardian of the person resting in the grave? Is she the one who measures out each cat’s life – and counts which life each cat is living? Her gaze is piercing and clear – she is unemotional and does her job well because she knows it is a transition.

Both these cards are reversed which can suggest a few things. One is that I need to apply these qualities in myself – balanced, not engaging in pointless intellectual struggles, using clarity and focus to help me transition to a new phase in my life. On another level it might be warning that my choices and behaviors right now will actively prevent these changes from occurring. That my resistance to finding some balance and letting certain things in my life die will prevent me from transitioning to a new phase.

Pagan Cats Hermit

I pulled another card for additional clarification – The Hermit. The image on this card reminds me of Grizabella, the Glamour Cat from the Cats (the character who sings Memory). She walks alone up a mountainside, a staff with a lantern hung at the end clutched by her tail. Her clothing is rather shabby and worn. She is obviously no interested in appearances; more important matters fill her thoughts. Like Grizabella, this cat has seem the darker side of life and learned lessons from it. She sometimes serves as the light in the darkness to others because she manages to control her fears and venture out into the dark wilderness and bring back knowledge and insights. This cat is telling me that the lessons I need to learn can only be completed by a solo journey. No one else’s journey will give me the answers.

Pagan Cats Ace of Pentacles

 

The reversed 7 of Wands tells me that it’s okay to let my guard down; be less defensive. Instead of getting my back up and hissing at folks, I might find it more helpful to relax a bit and be less aggressive. Of course that may be easier said than done. I learned the hard way that it’s best to prepare for the worst even as I hope for the best.

The reversed Ace of Discs (repeated from yesterday) is also reminding me that I can’t move forward and manifest new prosperity until I released this defensive posture. It is blocking me from moving forward and focusing on new projects. If I want to work on prosperity and abundance then I can’t funnel all my energies into holding on to old patterns, old defensive habits. I’m not a porcupine and need to stop behaving as one.

I see my message today as reminding me that if I keep clinging to outdated and worn patterns and responses then I can’t create new ones. I can’t build new prosperity and abundance in my life if I’m clinging to a scarcity mentality. I can’t keep blocking out the world to protect what I have and believe I’ll be able to manifest anything new. I won’t be able to fit it past the blockades and defenses I’ve built.

Wow! What a scary thought – tearing down my defenses and baring myself to the world. I’m not sure if I can do it but I have to give it a try.

All Hallows Ace of Discs All Hallows 2 of Swords

 

Okay, looking at these two cards I was flummoxed. I just wasn’t grasping their message. My mind went completely blank. I brain-stormed some possible interpretations with a friend but none felt “right”. Finally in desperation I referred to some Tarot books for guidance.

Even that was proving to be a bit fruitless. Then I found this paragraph regarding the 2 of Swords reversed: “In the reversed position, this card indicates that you have been over-compromised – perhaps you have been giving too much away in your desire to preserve peace and harmony-and now you are advised to break away and assert more of your own rights. You also should withdraw from relationships where there’s not enough mutual interest and understanding to arrive at an agreement. Attempts at compromise here may result in a lose-lose situation.” (Janina Renee. Tarot: Your Everyday Guide (p. 223). Kindle Edition). Suddenly everything clicked for me.

The Ace of Pentacles reversed is reminding me that I haven’t been taking any concrete steps to manifest the financial benefits I desire. I keep claiming that I want to establish myself as a professional Tarot reader and possibly teacher but I’ve haven’t really done much to “make it so”. I think I need to change my patterns, shed this skin like the snake in the card and move on to a new phase. I think I need to take a more active role in manifesting magic and prosperity in my life.

The reversed 2 of Swords is pointing out that one of the reasons I’ve been finding it so difficult to achieve these things and get moving is because I am over-extended. Family obligations and responsibilities are taking all my time and energy right now. Finding a balance between meeting my needs and theirs has not been easy. In fact it’s been almost impossible. Each time we start to regain our equilibrium something happens that throws us off-balance again.

All Hallows Strength

For further insight I pulled one additional card – Strength. This gave me a modicum of hope. I hear her telling me that I have the inner strength and fortitude to tame this beast. I will make it through this. As Gloria Gaynor once sang (and every radio station over-played) “I will survive”. I know this is not a permanent situation and I do need to be patient but I don’t need to stand still. I need to motivate myself more so I can at least take baby steps towards achieving my goal.

All Hallows Chariot All Hallows 3 of Swords

 

Am I not steering my own chariot because I fear it will cause me to betray someone? Do I not trust that my chariot is going in the right direction; not trusting that the Divine is steering me where I need to go? Does that leave me feeling heart-broken, bereft and betrayed? I have no idea. That seems to be happening quite a lot to me lately. I’m feeling a bit disconnected, as though I can’t interact with the energies in the Tarot deck. I suppose this is not unexpected considering what’s been going on in my life lately. But I digress.

The ghostly hearse on The Chariot reminds me of the movie Darby O’Gill and the Little People. The cóiste-bodhar (Death Coach, which really should be cóiste bás) rides out to capture the souls of the dead. Maybe I’m afraid my soul is slipping away from me; that I’m losing touch with who I really am. Rather than steering the course of my life I’ve been coasting; letting the winds of fate blow where they will. As a result I feel that I’ve betrayed myself and that breaks my heart. Rather sad and bleak.

Okay, I refuse to give in to despair right now. Things are rough but there are moments of brightness and hope. If I don’t want this coach to continue running off the track then I need to grab hold of the reins and take some control. I don’t have to dominate the horses, simply guide them. Of course first I need to learn how to rein in and guide myself.

Hmm, maybe that’s what The Chariot is doing – scolding me for not trying to take more control over myself. I’m one of those folks who knows what she should do (eat right, exercise, etc.) but somehow never manages to actually do them. Of course I always know how other people should live their lives. I’m a genius when it comes to other people and a dunce when it comes to myself. A pattern I need to break and soon. I’m breaking my own heart just thinking about it.

Or maybe what The Chariot reversed is reminding me is that if I don’t get my act together I’ll find myself in the Death Coach. I’m not being too melodramatic or overly negative but if I don’t take better care of myself, my diabetes can become very nasty. My father died at a relatively young age from complications due to his uncontrolled diabetes. My younger brother is already suffering some troubling health issues as a result of his. The last thing I need to carry on that particular family tradition. I don’t want to break the hearts of my loved ones and leave them feeling betrayed and bereft.

All Hallows Page of Discs All Hallows King of Wands

 

I don’t know, I just don’t know. These two court cards are throwing me for a loop. My initial reaction/interpretation is that my inner student is being blocked by my need to be in control and master my life. On a superficial level there is nothing wrong with this interpretation but somehow I get the sense there is more to it than that.

Looking at the Page of Discs my eye is drawn to the item she holds in her hand. At first glance I thought it was a huge eyeball. It made me think that I need to “eyeball” myself from a new perspective; turn my previous perceptions on their heads. When I looked more closely at the card I realized she’s actually holding a DVD or CD. However I don’t think that changes my initial interpretation of this card.

This Page of Disks also had an edgy energy to it. The figure on the image had short, choppy dark hair, eyes rimmed with black liner and dark clothing – rather Goth in appearance. This is very different look than I have or have ever donned. There is something about this figure that tells me she has a tough outside, very much an “I don’t take crap” persona, covering a very sensitive and possibly wounded interior. That could certainly describe me, especially when I was a teen. I was one of the walking wounded who donned a suit of porcupine quills for protection and camouflage.

The King of Wands seems almost weary and pensive as he sits with his head resting on his fisted hand and a skull beneath his chin. Is he pondering all the actions he has needed to take to achieve his present position? Does his flame still burn bright or has it died down to glowing embers? Right now I’m certainly feeling more glowing embers than roaring flames in my life. He still carries the banner of his achievements but perhaps he has learned more effective and efficient ways to use his energies. Instead of always blazing forth at full blast he has master tempering his fiery energy with sense and logic.

For additional insight and clarity I drew one more card and got the Queen of Wands – me. Or at least she is who I have the potential to be.  Perhaps she reminding me that before I can fully manifest her energies in my life I need to reconnect with the Page of Discs and King of Wands energy; getting from one to the next. Maybe once I can embrace my Porcupine Girl I’ll have a better understanding of how to channel my energies and stop scattering them in a wasteful fashion.

All Hallows 7 of Cups All Hallows World

So many choices! Such a variety of delectable delights to experience and enjoy! The 7 of Cups offers all this and more but the reality is that some of these choices are imaginary or illusory. They seem sweet and tempting but a long-term diet of them would prove disastrous. So the first step I can take is to weed out the choices that might look appealing but are truly not. I need to be cautious about getting tempted by unhealthy options or non-beneficial possibilities. I don’t need to explore options that will ultimately only make the situation worse.

The World card reminds me of the Elton John/Bernie Taupin classic “Tiny Dancer”. Like the ballerina dancing in the sand, this woman stands amid a profusion of light candles hovering around her and dances to her own music. She doesn’t worry about being burned by the candles because she is sure of herself and confident in her moves and rhythm. She doesn’t worry that her movements aren’t perfect or pleasing to the eyes of others. She dances to please herself. She is the cosmic dancer whose movements dance the world into being.

Her reversed nature is letting me know that I need to find my own inner dance. I need to learn what movements and rhythms please me. In fact looking at this card brings Gabrielle Roth’s concept of dancing meditation or using dance to enter an ecstatic trance-like state. Maybe that is a tool I can use for both spiritual and practical purposes. Meditation, dance and other physical activities might be a way to break free of this funk in which I find myself. I sometimes find it too easy to get stuck in my head and I think this card is a reminder that if I never trust myself enough to dance the steps, how can I expect to create the reality I desire?

All Hallows Queen of Cups

For additional insights I drew one more card – the Queen of Cups. This a card with whom I’ve had a long-term love/hate relationship. It took me many years to becomes comfortable with her energies because growing up she often negatively manifested in my life. Instead of love and support she displayed emotional manipulation and dangerous weakness. Over the years, especially since I have begun caring for my mother-in-law, I have grown to appreciate the Queen of Cups’ strengths and gifts. In this sense I have a feeling she is reminding me to seek counseling and guidance from those I trust; friends and relatives whose continued support and love have helped me endure this situation. She’s a reminder that I don’t have to drink tea alone. I can share it with loved ones and have a more joyous experience that might help me find the answers I seek. I don’t need to stumble through this by myself when I have friends who can help me see the patterns or suggest options I might not see.

All Hallows Justice All Hallows Queen of Wands

My initial response seeing these cards is that I need to find inner balance and make some clear-sighted decisions about my life because otherwise my creative energies are going to waste. Right now I’m viewing my creative energies as muscles and you know what they say about muscles – if you don’t use them you lose them.

I think the reversed Queen of Wands is pointing out that I need to explore myself and find ways to make things happen. I need to see things from a new perspective and explore previously uncharted territory. On the All Hallows card, she wears a witch’s hat adorned with a wreath of autumn leaves, holding a black cat in one hand and her broom in another. Have magick, will travel might be her motto. So how can I incorporate this energy into the reality that is my life right now?

Justice, with her blank eyes, suggests that I need to looks at things from a dispassionate, objective viewpoint. I can’t let my own emotions get in the way right now. They will certainly impact the outcome but in order to make some clear-sighted plans, I need to try to avoid getting lose in them. Let’s face it when it’s your life it’s almost impossible to have a clear-sighted, objected opinion about anything. I tend to skew things so that they produce the result I believe I wanted from the outset. That approach is not going to prove helpful here. She holds the key to an answer in her hand where a live flame burns. My job is to determine how to claim it in my life.

I asked a friend for some help interpreting this two cards and she pulled an addition card for clarity. Temperance appeared. Blending, merging, forging and balancing are key gifts. She reminds me that I need to work on blending my needs and interests with family obligations and responsibilities. Again, my response is a bit of “no shit Sherlock” but I keep getting these kinds of messages so obviously I’m still not getting it.

All Hallows Temperance

I drew Temperance from the All Hallows deck and the woman stands between an angelic figure and a demonic one. She holds a silver chalice in one hand and a golden one in the other. Her hair is a multitude of hues and a ying-yang pendant adorns her neck. She embodies the concept of incorporating, merging and blending energies. She has found a way to express her true nature without going overboard. That is my challenge. Stay tuned for further developments.

Pondering the week

The last few days have been quite revealing and insightful at least from a Tarot perspective. In response to my daily queries focusing on how I should use my energy, I have drawn the 8 of Wands reversed crossed by The Wheel, Temperance crossed by The Emperor reversed, 7 of Pentacles crossed by Death reversed, and the 9 of Cups reversed, 3 of Cups reversed and Judgment.

Without going into details about what each daily reading means, the overall sense I get is one of blocked progress, energy denied. I think what the cards are trying to let me know is that my usual method of doing things, my normal priorities and even my former lifestyle are just not going to be useful right now. The circumstances in my life preclude putting that energy to use in the external world. In other words finding an outside job or becoming involved in community activities or groups that require in-person participation are probably not a good idea right now.

So that means I need to find other ways of meeting my needs and finding fulfillment. I need to explore new ways of expressing my creativity and manifesting my dreams. I need to also find creative ways to generate some income in my life. Obviously a 9-5 traditional job will not work for me at this time.

I feel like a river that has been dammed and hasn’t yet found a new outlet or new path to the sea. I know it will happen but I’m so unsure and confused about which way to look. This is an area I need to do more research and inquiry. Perhaps it’s time to explore answers from the Tarot and other mediums as well. I suppose time will tell.

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