Your hand upon mine
Your hand upon mine
Wheel of Change Tarot
created by Alexandra Gennetti
Published by Destiny Books, 1997
The Book says: When you have drawn this card in your reading; it is a time of recognition for you. You have just been able to see the independence of something against the complex background of the world. Perhaps this is something inside of you, but it need not be. You realize that because you are now able to see that the individuality of all people is the issue and that any relationship is between two separate individuals. We are each traveling our own path and experiencing a brief moment called life. It is a learning journey, and the light of the sun is the light within each of us that grows brighter and then dimmer as we travel. The Sun is a metaphor for the recognition of individuality, both our own and others. When the Sun is part of your reading, it is a time of new beginnings, and like the winter solstice it is a time when the warm light within you grows stronger.
TarotBroad’s Buzz: This card is reminder of the possibilities of new beginnings and the potential present in every child. I worked with children on a daily basis and it was wonderful to see the untapped possibilities present in each of their faces. Their Sun energy shone so brightly and so strongly that you believed they could accomplish anything. These two children, standing together holding hands, would almost be a perfect symbol for unity and racial harmony. They represent hope for a bright future and the youthful joy and exuberance symbolized by the sun. They are also a reminder that each time we begin a new project or pursue a new path in our lives we are tapping into this solar energy. Think about how excited we become about new opportunities and new interests in our lives. On a smaller level, I feel this way each time I get a new deck of Tarot cards. There is the excitement of getting something new, the joy of becoming acquainted, the new sense of inspiration and enthusiasm. When we gain new insight into our lives or to a situation, we are feeling the Sun’s energy.
The Sun is so full of hope, joy and exuberance that it brings a smile to the face. Have you ever walked outdoors on a warm sunny day and turned your face to the sun, just enjoying its warmth and light? Have you ever watched a sunrise or sunset and just been awed by the gorgeous colors streaming across the sky? Whenever I feel myself shining and bristling with confidence and energy, I know I’m channeling the Sun’s energy. The Sun represents our chance to dazzle others with our brilliance and revel in our accomplishments; our time to enjoy our place in the spotlight. We should all experience moments when we are truly the center of our own universe.
This card is also a reminder that although we all need to work together for certain goals, we are individuals. When we join forces we do not meld into one being; we are separate but joined like pieces of a puzzle. I can also see this being the key to equality in our lives. We don’t all need to be the same, we just need to accept that each of us has a value and worth. Even in any relationship in our lives, we do not truly merge with that person or those people. We retain our individuality, our separate beliefs, attitudes and ideas. If we don’t we run the risk of becoming too dependant or getting involved in an abusive relationship. The Sun is both a symbol of hope, a sense of self and future possibilities.
It’s such a gorgeous day outside that I changed my focus a bit. Instead of focusing on the Shadow I decided to look at soulwork issues.
Looking at the image on this card and its keyword (insecurity), what strikes me is the arrows piercing the woman’s body. Are these the arrows of self-doubt? Of inner demons and critics? Despite the arrows embedded in her body, the woman’s expression seems melodramatic. It’s almost as though she isn’t truly wounded but is acting as though she’s wounded.
That made me wonder about the nature of insecurity – at least in my case. There are times when I claim to be insecure or self-effacing about something but in reality I’m just fishing for praise. Have you ever found yourself doing that – seeking reassurance and reaffirmation that you are good at something (or at least not as bad as you fear)? That’s the message I’m getting from this card today. Her pose is so contrived and her expression so overly dramatic that I want to say “just get over yourself!” And there are many times when I want to say that to myself too.
In relation to this question, I think she is telling me that I need to stop letting myself get held back by self-doubts and insecurities. They can only hold me back if I allow them to do so. They can only hurt me if I make them reality. They are phantasms; illusory weapons that can only wound if I give them the power.
I often see this card as representing the reclaiming of one’s own power. That can certainly apply here. By not allowing the slings and arrows of self-doubts, negative opinions and inner critics to wound me and hold me back, I am reclaiming my power. I am standing up and saying I can achieve anything as long as I believe in myself. What a great message for such a beautiful day.
Where am I weakest? 5 of Wands R (Prague)
Where am I strongest? 3 of Wands (Prague)
I am weakest in letting go and picking my battles. Instead of being selective and focusing on which battles are important, I waste energy in futile and pointless struggles. The 5 of Wands has always reminded me of a bunch of school kids engaged in mock battle. Nothing is truly gained or lost but they enjoy tussling with each other. As an adult, I no longer have the energy necessary to expend on these types of energy drains. And yet I continue to do so.
I think the biggest energy drain and futile battle is the one to try to change the reality of my in-laws’ circumstances. No matter how much I wish my mother-in-law would “snap out of it” that’s just not going to happen. I also experienced this futile waste of effort when I kept acting as if I could start a business as a Tarot reader by sheer force of will. The reality is that right now my time is not my own. I don’t have the time or energy to devote to maintaining a website, promoting and marketing myself and actually providing services to clients.
On the positive side, I’m strongest in establishing projects that really take off. Once I am able to channel all that creative energy I have inside, I think I’ll be able to see my ship come in and find success. I think the 3 of Wands is also letting me know that I will find a way to build the partnerships and networks I need to achieve this success.
So my biggest challenge is accepting that sometimes the time is just not right for what I want to do. Timing is everything and right now my energies need to be focused on my in-laws’. I will have the time to focus on my goals, dreams and desires but now is just not the best time. So rather than righting that reality, I might be better served by focus my energies on what I can achieve and using my energies in a more productive fashion.
How ironic – The Sun is hidden from me on a cloudy day. That makes sense. Of course I’m not referring to what I literally cannot see right now. On a figurative, spiritual level I think The Sun reversed is telling me that what I cannot see in y life right now is a chance to shine; my turn in the sun. I can’t see how I can gain recognition and the adulation and admiration of others (yes, it may be rather shallow but I’m being honest about it). I am by nature a solar creature. I’ve always identified more with the sun’s energies than with the moons (although I do prefer nighttime to daytime).
When I was younger and familiar only with Greco-Roman myths, I described myself as a “father’s daughter” type because that was the only paradigm I knew. As I learned more about other pantheons and find myself establishing relationships with Irish and Norse deities, I came to realize the sun is see as feminine in these cultures. That makes more sense to me. In generations past the mother did not leave the children. She was a constant presence in their lives, like the sun. The father was the one who would go off – to hunt, to work, to war. His presence was more intangible and less clearly defined. His energies and influences more vague and nebulous like the moon’s. The father was and could be the light that made us feel safe in the dark while the mother was the brilliant radiance and warmth that surrounded us with constant love. It’s funny, despite my past issues in my relationship with my mother I always knew she loved me and wanted me to succeed.
The Page of Rods symbolizes me and how I need to find new ways to express my fiery, creative energy. I think he is the solution to the cloudy sunshine in my life. He is showing me that I need to re-learn how to feel validated and successful. I cannot count on being recognized by external sources so I need to find internal ways to fulfill that need. He’s reminding me that I need to continue on this path even when I’m not sure I’ll find what I seek. If I give up now I’ll never find the answers I seek.
It has occurred to me that my behavior in certain aspects of my life force me to wonder why I am so resistant to making changes I know will be in my best interests. Some of these would impact my health (specifically eating patterns). Others could impact my profession (such as updating my blog to include a page so that anyone interested can order an email reading). Still others would just provide overall improvements to my quality of life (such as getting more organized). In my mind I know these things but I can’t bring myself to implement them. If I were reading for a client who had this issue I’m sure I’d offer some pithy, practical advice to get her/his ass in gear. That made me wonder what is causing this resistance; what am I afraid will happen if I do these things?. So I decided to ask the Book of Shadows As Above Tarot that question.
I had to laugh when I saw these cards appear because on the surface the 4 of Earth didn’t make sense to me. I looked up the card’s meaning in the companion book and a few things became clearer to me. I’m not afraid I’ll become a gnome or too set in my ways (that ship has already sailed) or stingy. As I looked at the stones and crystals on this card I realized that perhaps one of my fears is becoming a resource to others. As long as I keep things on a light, casual, almost flippant level I don’t have to take responsibility. If someone challenges me about a statement I make I can always back off with the “I was only kidding” excuse. Taking this to a professional level means I need to be responsible to my clients and treat the cards and those relationships with integrity. I may also be in a position to help people mine their own lives to find the buried treasures that lie within. Being that kind of resource terrifies me. It’s one of the reasons I didn’t pursue a PhD in psychology. The idea of having vulnerable people come to me for advice, clarity and counseling frightened me. I felt like a phony to even think I could offer that kind of wisdom and support to anyone. Instead I took shelter in sarcasm and smart aleck responses.
The Path seemed to bring me a clear message as soon as I saw it. I am afraid of being that person who can walk out into the wilderness and blaze a new trail. I give enormous credit to people who choose to read Tarot cards or other non-traditional services in a professional and public manner. It really does have the potential to put one beyond the pale. I remember the reactions I got from people when they learned I was pursuing a MA in psychology. I often got comments like “oh you’ll never figure me out” or “what am I thinking” (obviously some folks still have a distorted view of psychology). That might have been another element that made me reconsider pursuing a doctoral degree. I don’t mind being a bit odd or “out there” but I usually don’t want to scare people away completely. And the people who tended to be drawn to a psychology student tended to scare me away. Pursuing Tarot as a profession would mean taking that first step on an unexplored, unknown path. I have no idea where it might take me and I’m afraid to find out.
I’ll be exploring this issue more as the week continues because I am committed to taking this step and if I want to succeed then I need to stop sabotaging myself.
Oh my goodness – this ties in beautifully with the message I received yesterday. It seems that the biggest challenge I need to face is loving myself. In order to manifest the things I want in life I have to believe I deserve them. In order to believe that I need to love myself.
The woman’s face on the Ace of Cups seems joyful, strong and serene as it is washed by the rain. I love that feeling of lifting my face up to the sky and letting the rain just wash down over me. On a gorgeous Spring day it leaves me feeling refreshed and renewed. That is the energy I need to tap into now. I need to refresh and renew my caring for myself. It’s so easy to put self-care on the back burner when you are caring for others but I have to remember to make myself a priority too. I’ve said it before but never managed to achieve that goal. It’s time to stop the bullshit.
The Magician is an awesome figure; somewhat scary and overwhelming but reassuring too. It looks like a big maw just waiting to devour whatever lies in its path. It hangs above a cave or opening and I must pass through to claim my power. I must face what frightens me and enter the darkness to find what I seek. I’m not sure what scares me more – failing or succeeding.
The bottom line is that if I don’t try I’ll be forever haunted by “what ifs”. I’ve always appreciated the saying “the only regrets I have are for things I haven’t done” and the idea that it’s better to regret things you’ve done than things you didn’t do. I have enough “what ifs” in my life and I want to reduce the number I add to my life moving forward. It’s time to let love for myself refresh me and strengthen me as I enter that dark cave and find the treasure hidden within. I know I can do this.
Well this will be my last day using the Ghosts & Spirits Tarot. It’s interesting that the new year and the New Moon coincide so nicely. Starting tomorrow I will very happily begin working with the amazing Dark Goddess Tarot.
So I decided, in honor the new year, to see what I should take away from this year. The Knight of Pentacles is the Moss Maiden. According to the LWB she is a web spinner, moss maker and protector of her natural environment. She can heal or harm according to how she is approached. As with most nature spirits her loyalty and devotion is to the natural world around her. She will do what is necessary to protect that world. Her priorities are not our priorities although they may sometimes intersect.
It’s interesting that when I first saw this image my mind saw it as the Knight of Cups and wrote my interpretation accordingly. Now that I’ve looked at it again and realize it has very different symbolism I am modifying that interpretation. The Moss Maiden is a protective nature spirit. She made be methodical and the most deliberate of the knights but she is energetic and not afraid of risks. The Moss Maiden reminds me that I need to be careful not to let the moss grow too thick around me and to start spinning webs to manifest what I want to achieve in the year ahead. She speaks to me of being protective and defending my world but at the same time create a new future to move towards.
The King of Swords reversed in this instance reminds me that sometimes we need to trust our heart and now allow the head to overrule the heart and hold me back. The King of Swords is sharp, intelligent and thoughtful. He is much too controlled to take chances unless he has carefully considered all the odds. Right now I think that approach is holding me back. I spend so much time thinking and planning and not enough doing.
These cards remind me that it’s important to maintain a connection with what has been as well as continuing to move towards what will be. I can protect and value what exists in my world right now but don’t need to let it bury me so that I can’t manifest a new reality. My focus needs to be on doing and not get too bogged down and lose my head over planning and thinking. So let’s hope that 2014 will be the year of me doing.
The Warrior of Battle is Fionn mac Cumhail, ancient leader of a traveling band of Irish warriors. He was a figure of respect and fear. He and his band lived outside the bounds of “normal” society. In some sense they were outlaws in the truest sense – the lived outside the laws that governed those around them. They did not recognize the bonds of family, kinship or sovereignty. He was gifted with prophetic insight thanks to his Thumb of Knowledge, possessed poetic inspiration and amazing fighting prowess. He reclaims his father’s honor by regaining the magic Crane bag which was taken by his father’s killer and served as the emblem of the fianna. The fianna still live on in folk tales commemorating their defense of the weak and defeat of tyrants.
The Dedicator shows the Goddess of Sacrifice from the Gundestrup Cauldron processing an offering. This image is a reminder that we often have to be willing to sacrifice in order to achieve our goals in life. The question becomes what is being sacrificed and is it worth it? If a man or woman sacrifices time with family in pursuit of career success, is that worth it? Only the person involved can answer that. How many times have we realized too late that we sacrificed our todays for tomorrow. We didn’t enjoy what we have and what is available for some delayed gratification. Sometimes it proves a worthwhile sacrifice (such as putting certain things on hold to pursue an advanced degree) and sometimes they are not.
So what I need to know is when to fight for what I believe and what is right for myself and balance against the inner sacrifices I am willing to make to achieve them. I think what I need to fight for most is myself, my goals and my dreams. Sometimes I’m too willing to sacrifice what I want to expediency, to the needs of others, to common sense. Now is my opportunity to stop that and reclaim my own magical Crane Bag. Perhaps I’ve already passed through the cauldron of transformation and now I can focus more on what awaits rather the sacrifices that need to be or have been made
Today I began working with the Celtic Wisdom Tarot by Caitlin Matthews. I have a strong fondness for this deck because I love the theme of Celtic myths & legends (especially when they are done by someone who knows her stuff) and the artwork (although a bit rough around the edges) draws me to it.
Today I simply asked my guardian spirits for some guidance. In response to my request I drew the Courtship of Knowledge reversed (aka 3 of Pentacles) crossed by the Combat of Skill (aka 5 of Wands) reversed. Once again I find myself in a world of blocked, untapped energies. That isn’t a bad thing (maybe they’re finally reaching a place where I can tap into them and utilize them to my best advantage). However it can be a frustrating thing for me.
So if I consider what they are telling me I would see the Courtship of Knowledge card reminding me that I need to continue opening lines of communication with my spirit guides; getting better acquainted with the divine. I know I have been sadly neglecting my spiritual life lately and this card is a reminder that needs to change. It’s in my best interests to do this not to satisfy or impress anyone else.
The Combat of Skill reminds me that things are not always what they seem. This image represents the story of the sons of King Eochaid and their quest to become his successor. While on a hunt/quest to decide their fitness to rule, each brother is confronted by an ugly hag who requests a kiss. Each denies her until the youngest son, Niall (Eochaid’s son with his concubine Caireen) agrees and embraces her. She then turns in to a beautiful woman – the Goddess of Sovereignty and grants Niall the right to rule after his father. This tale is a reminder that what is worthwhile is not always attractive and alluring, at least not at first. It also reminds me that if I don’t face my fears I’ll never conquer them.
So if I want to overcome the challenges and obstacles that block me I need to face my fears and regain some connection with my spirit guides and the divine. I’m sure this will prove to be a lifelong process but I have to remember to keep moving forward.